Social Emotional

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/index.html

Most young children have tantrums. When children are having tantrums, it is important to figure out what they are trying to communicate to you. Some questions you can ask yourself include:

•      Are they tired or hungry?
•      Can you see a pattern in the time of day/type of activity/certain environment?
•      Do they struggle to communicate or be understood when talking?

When your child is having a tantrum, the adult (you) must stay calm. Soothe your child's distress by using a calming voice, very few words, and model deep breaths or give them a hug. The goal should be to help them through their tantrum instead of stopping it quickly. Emotions and big feelings are natural and to be expected.

The additional resources below may be helpful:

•      Validating Feelings
•      Modeling and Labeling Feelings
•      Recognizing Your Hot Buttons
•      Keeping It Positive
•      Positive Parenting Classes through the Family Resource Center. For schedule and registration, go here: https://www.frcec.org/upcoming-events
•      When your child is calm, you can help them understand their feelings by reading children's books and talking about their feelings with them. For a list of children's books about feelings, click here: https://childhood101.com/books-about-emotions/

When children show aggressive behaviors, they are trying to communicate something to you. When children hit, kick, or bite, it is because they cannot access the communication center in their brain to tell you what is upsetting them. When a child is being aggressive, the following can be helpful:

•      Adults should refrain from a big reaction, such as yelling at the child or trying to punish them. Instead, the adult should stay calm and model strategies they would like the child to use, such as deep breathing and calm tone of voice. (Recognize Your Hot Buttons and Keep It Positive)
•      You may remove the other child/adult being hit or kicked from the situation so that they are safe.
•      Once the child is calm/not showing aggression, help them practice what they should have done instead of hitting. Remember, what you put your focus on you get more of. For example, instead of saying, "Stop hitting", say, "Use gentle hands". Another example, if your child hit another child to get a toy, model the way to ask for a toy and practice with your child. If you find that it is a consistent problem, think of a cue that may help your child remember before aggression occurs (ex: a verbal cue, song, picture, etc.). (Help Once Calm)
•      When your child is calm and not showing aggressive behavior, you can read a story with help them to help them learn how to manage feelings of frustration. Refer to this link for a printable story and read the last 2 pages for more ideas on how to use it: I Can Handle Angry. Other children's books about feelings and hitting can be found here: https://lollipopbookclub.com/blogs/news/childrens-books-about-hitting-pushing-shoving

Another helpful resource in our community is Positive Parenting Classes through the Family Resource Center. For schedule and registration, go here: https://www.frcec.org/upcoming-events

Toddlers and preschool children may run away from their parent/guardian for many reasons, including:

•       Testing boundaries
•       Feeling overwhelmed or anxious
•       Lack the understanding of safety concerns

The resources below may be helpful:

•      Make a plan for situations when you know your child will run away, such as "After I get you out of your car seat, we will hold hands while we are walking in the parking lot".
•      While in a safe environment where they can run, teach them Impulse Control Games, such as, "stop" or "wait" in a fun way such as stop/go games, freeze dance, etc.
•      Give choices to allow them control in the situation, such as “Do you want to hold this hand or this hand?”
•      Use a visual schedule to help them understand expectations during each routine and what is coming next. Click on How to Make a Visual Schedule to get started.

This can be very developmentally appropriate for 3- and 4-year-old children. Some reasons to consider include:

•      They don’t understand what you’re saying. Instead of using long sentences, try using 1-2 words, simple phrases, or different words to describe what you want your child to do. Make sure you tell them what you want them to do, instead of what you don’t want them to do.
•      There are too many directions given at one time. You can break down directions into smaller steps or just give them one step at a time.
•      Their attention is focused on something/someone else. Get their attention first by moving closer to them or saying their name.
•      They don’t want to end the activity they are engaged in yet. There are many strategies to help them end the activity they are doing.
  •                Give Transition Warnings, such as “1 more minute”.
  •                Use a visual timer – you can use the timer in the clock settings of your phone or download an app, such as this one: Time Timer (Apple App Store)
  •                Use pictures or a visual schedule (How to Make a Visual Schedule) or simply tell them “First __, then ___” (For example, “First clean up then we can play outside”.)
  •                Give Choices of when to end the activity. This could a time frame, “Do you want to leave in 1 minute or 2 minutes?”, how to leave the activity, “Do you want to hop or skip to __?”, or what to do, “Do you want to clean up red or green blocks?”
  •                Give them a job or way to be helpful. This helps give them something else to focus on during this time.
•      They need more positive connections. Increase your positive reinforcement of when your child is following your directions or doing what they should be doing. Noticing when your child is doing something that is expected or that you want them to do helps increase their confidence and motivation to continue. Try to focus on positive interactions so that they are more willing to complete tasks they don’t want to do. This can be as simple as saying “You sat on the chair for dinner. That was helpful!” or “You were safe walking to the car.” Try to ensure 5 positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction. Quality Time and Strength-Based Language are helpful resources to make sure you are using positive language and interactions.

Many young children struggle to end one activity (especially if it’s something they like) to start a new one. You can help your child in a variety of ways:

•      Give Transition Warnings, such as “1 more minute” or use a visual timer.
  • You can use the timer in the clock settings of your phone or download an app, such as this one: Time Timer (App Store)
•      Give Choices of how, when, or what to do to end the activity.
  • “Do you want to leave in 1 minute or 2 minutes?
  • “Do you want to hop or skip to __?”
  • “Do you want to clean up red or green blocks?”
•      Use pictures or a visual schedule (see How to Make a Visual Schedule resource)
•      Use First/Then statements (for example, “First clean up, then outside”)
•      Use jobs to help them feel purpose in their transitions/completing activities they don’t want to do. Here is a list of Age-Appropriate Jobs and a Toddler Chore List
•      •Make transitions a game (ex: race to the next thing) or use Redirection to help them through the transition.

Some children have a shy personality. Many children find comfort in predictable routines and schedules. When something is unexpected or their routine is different, explaining this through words or pictures can help them understand what will happen next. Building a child’s confidence and self-esteem can also help reduce their anxiousness. Using age-appropriate jobs can build confidence and self-esteem.

The resources below maybe helpful:

•      How to Make a Visual Schedule
•      Age-Appropriate Jobs
•      Toddler Chore List

Try to focus on positive interactions and noticing when they are doing something expected or helpful. This can be as simple as saying “You sat on the chair for dinner. That was helpful!” or “You were safe walking to the car.” Try to ensure 5 positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction. You can also try I Love You Rituals and Quality Time to increase positive connections. Try reading this printable story about being scared and how to help when that feeling arises, I Can Handle Scared.

The resources below may be helpful:

•      Play Skills in Young Children
•      Take Turns
•      Using a printable story helps teach children specific skills. Here are some stories on Asking to Play and Asking for a Turn.

The resources below may be helpful:

•      Screen Time Tips has helpful suggestions for reducing screen time.
•      Quality Time is important for increasing connections with your child.

Eau Claire has many resources available to help families navigate challenging situations and to bring young children together.

The Family Resource Center has many programs available, including playgroup, Positive Parenting Classes, and discussion groups.

For a calendar of events and registration information, click here: https://www.frcec.org/upcoming-events

For a list of Family Resource Center Programs, click here: https://www.frcec.org/programs

Story Time at local libraries is a time for young children to learn from other adults and children. Here are the calendars for Eau Claire and Altoona library children’s events:

Eau Claire Library Story Time Calendar: https://lephillips.librarycalendar.com/events/month?program_types%5B18%5D=18

Altoona Library Children’s Events Calendar: https://altoonalibrary.org/calendar/childrens-calendar/

ECASD Monthly Newsletter: The Eau Claire Area School District Early Learning Program has a monthly newsletter with event happening in the area, click here for this month’s newsletter: https://www.ecasd.us/Prairie-Ridge-Early-Learning/Main-Office/Monthly-Connections-Newsletter

Children’s Museum of Eau Claire: Click here to see if you qualify for the Children’s Museum of Eau Claire Membership-for-all Program: https://www.childrensmuseumec.com/memberships

L.E. Phillips YMCA Sports Center offers open play and organized activities throughout the school year. https://www.ymca-cv.org/familyevents