My child is having tantrums.
Most young children have tantrums. When children are having tantrums, it is important to figure out what they are trying to communicate to you. Some questions you can ask yourself include:
- •Are they tired or hungry?
- •Can you see a pattern in the time of day/type of activity/certain environment?
- •Do they struggle to communicate or be understood when talking?
When your child is having a tantrum, the adult (you) must stay calm. Soothe your child's distress by using a calming voice, very few words, and model deep breaths or give them a hug. The goal should be to help them through their tantrum instead of stopping it quickly. Emotions and big feelings are natural and to be expected.
The additional resources below may be helpful:
My child is hitting, kicking, biting (being aggressive).
When children show aggressive behaviors, they are trying to communicate something to you. When children hit, kick, or bite, it is because they cannot access the communication center in their brain to tell you what is upsetting them. When a child is being aggressive, the following can be helpful:
- •Adults should refrain from a big reaction, such as yelling at the child or trying to punish them. Instead, the adult should stay calm and model strategies they would like the child to use, such as deep breathing and calm tone of voice. (Recognize Your Hot Buttons and Keep It Positive)
- •You may remove the other child/adult being hit or kicked from the situation so that they are safe.
- •Once the child is calm/not showing aggression, help them practice what they should have done instead of hitting. Remember, what you put your focus on you get more of. For example, instead of saying, "Stop hitting", say, "Use gentle hands". Another example, if your child hit another child to get a toy, model the way to ask for a toy and practice with your child. If you find that it is a consistent problem, think of a cue that may help your child remember before aggression occurs (ex: a verbal cue, song, picture, etc). (Help Once Calm)
- •When your child is calm and not showing aggressive behavior, you can read a story with help them to help them learn how to manage feelings of frustration. Refer to this link for a printable story and read the last 2 pages for more ideas on how to use it: I Can Handle Angry. Other children's books about feelings and hitting can be found here: https://lollipopbookclub.com/blogs/news/childrens-books-about-hitting-pushing-shoving
Another helpful resource in our community is Positive Parenting Classes through the Family Resource Center. For schedule and registration, go here: https://www.frcec.org/upcoming-events
My child seems anxious.
Some children have a shy personality. Many children find comfort in predictable routines and schedules. When something is unexpected or their routine is different, explaining this through words or pictures can help them understand what will happen next. Building a child’s confidence and self-esteem can also help reduce their anxiousness. Using age-appropriate jobs can build confidence and self-esteem.
The resources below maybe helpful:
Try to focus on positive interactions and noticing when they are doing something expected or helpful. This can be as simple as saying “You sat on the chair for dinner. That was helpful!” or “You were safe walking to the car.” Try to ensure 5 positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction. You can also try I Love You Rituals and Quality Time to increase positive connections. Try reading this printable story about being scared and how to help when that feeling arises, I Can Handle Scared.
COMMUNITY RESOURCES
Eau Claire has many resources available to help families navigate challenging situations and to bring young children together.
The Family Resource Center has many programs available, including playgroup, Positive Parenting Classes, and discussion groups.
For a calendar of events and registration information, click here: https://www.frcec.org/upcoming-events
For a list of Family Resource Center Programs, click here: https://www.frcec.org/programs
Story Time at local libraries is a time for young children to learn from other adults and children. Here are the calendars for Eau Claire and Altoona library children’s events:
Eau Claire Library Story Time Calendar: https://lephillips.librarycalendar.com/events/month?program_types%5B18%5D=18
Altoona Library Children’s Events Calendar: https://altoonalibrary.org/calendar/childrens-calendar/
ECASD Monthly Newsletter: The Eau Claire Area School District Early Learning Program has a monthly newsletter with event happening in the area, click here for this month’s newsletter: https://www.ecasd.us/Prairie-Ridge-Early-Learning/Main-Office/Monthly-Connections-Newsletter
Children’s Museum of Eau Claire: Click here to see if you qualify for the Children’s Museum of Eau Claire Membership-for-all Program: https://www.childrensmuseumec.com/memberships
L.E. Phillips YMCA Sports Center offers open play and organized activities throughout the school year. https://www.ymca-cv.org/familyevents